Why Writing Feels So Hard (Even When You Have Support)

I would guess that probably 99% of writers have at least one writing friend they adore. They write together, brainstorm together, maybe even beta read each other’s work. They cheer each other on, hold each other accountable, and toil away at their manuscripts side by side.

Weekends? Writing sprints. Group chats? Full of emojis, GIFs, and plot breakthroughs. They’re in it together, typing furiously, timer ticking, creativity flowing.

The joys of having writerly friends! 😍🥰

If you’ve been trying to finish your book and have been leaning on writing friends, critique groups, or good old-fashioned willpower, you’re in the right place. Most writers assume that if they just stayed motivated (or had friends who nudged them a little harder), they’d finally make it to The End.

But… sometimes, even with all that support and writerly energy something still isn’t clicking. You still feel like your creativity and motivation to finish your book are trapped in the Swamps of Sadness, and you’re trying to get them unstuck from the mud! 

Artaaax! Don’t give in to the sadness! Artax, please!!!

#forevertoosoon

Or your mindset around your writing is in the dumpster (you know, the one in the alley that’s somehow always on fire?) and your writing friends’ advice to “treat it like a job,” or to “write every day,” or my favorite, “if it matters, you’ll write anyway (or worse, you’ll make time for it),” starts to feel more “attacky” than helpful.

Or you’ve wondered why your muse keeps taking extended vacations even though your friends swear your story is brilliant.

You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not doing anything wrong.

You might just be missing a kind of support you didn’t know was out there.

We’re going to look at why writing friends are amazing (they are!), but also why they sometimes aren’t enough to keep you moving forward.

So if you’re craving more momentum, deeper support, and finally crossing that finish line with a story you’re proud of? Stick around. This might just shift everything.

1. Writing Friends Are Gold. But They’re Not a Game Plan

Our writing friends cheer us on, celebrate our wins, through ideas, commiserate when our characters take over and drive the entire story off a cliff (sometimes literally), offer a shoulder to cry on when we forget to save the latest draft and our computer crashes… They’re our saving graces, right?

But when it comes to actual momentum, especially when you’re dealing with creative blocks or mindset hurdles, they’re not always equipped to help you move forward in a way that honors who you are and what you’re struggling with. They can only tell you what’s worked for them. And that’s great, too… unless it doesn’t help.

Every writer’s process is different. What works for one person might totally short-circuit another. And while your writing friends are well-meaning, they may not know how to guide you through what’s actually getting in your way.

For example, one of my clients had writing friends, access to live YouTube sprints, and had taken more writing courses than she could count. Even with all that support, she wasn’t writing. She still felt like something was missing.

That “something” was structure, focus, and support built around her. Not just general encouragement, but guidance specific to her goals, her story, and her creative ebbs and flows.

From day one, we uncovered her blocks, reconnected her to her passion, and built a plan that fit her life. I’m happy to report she’s still crushing it almost a year later!

2. Friendly Check-ins vs. Support That Actually Moves You Forward

Your writing friends want to be there for you. They really do. But they’re busy, too. And when life gets hectic, and everyone falls behind  the accountability check-ins start to feel like wails of despair. 

“I didn’t write today.” 

“Ugh, girl… saaaaaame.” 

“I’ll get back to it soon, I swear!!!” 

The vibe shifts from support to a chorus of mutual guilt and no one’s really moving forward.

Even when our friends do want to help us get back on track, they’re often hesitant to bring down the strong arm of the writing law. They don’t want to seem bossy or inconsiderate. They don’t know everything we’re juggling behind the scenes. And seriously? When you’re going through something big, it’s not always something you feel comfortable unloading in the group chat or Discord server.

Case in point: I stalled out on my own book when something huge happened at work. I talked to my main writing friend about it, but it felt like too much to fully explain (plus, unless you’ve been in a similar situation, it’s hard to really understand someone else’s pain and suffering).

When your nervous system is shot? That kind of stress can knock your creativity flat. And if your accountability partner doesn’t know what’s really going on, it’s hard for them to truly help you get back on your feet in a heart-forward kind of way.

This is why accountability and support from outside your usual circle can be so super powerful. A coach holds the space for your real life and your creative goals, not just your progress report.

That same client I mentioned earlier who felt something was missing? After just one month together, she told me:

“I’ve written more this month than I have in years.”

Now (at the time of this writing), we’ve been working together since April 2024. In our first seven months, she finished her novel, and now, almost a year later, she’s experimenting with a big deal goal to rapid release three novellas. She’s not only found a system and process that works with her health, her energy, and her creative flow, she’s found confidence in her ability to tackle this next step in her author career.

This is what real, consistent support can look like. It’s not just checking a box and calling it a day. It’s you-shaped, you-centered guidance that helps you adapt, reassess, and keep going, even when life be life-ing.

3. When Support Starts to Feel Like a Side-Eye

This one might touch a nerve, but I can’t leave this out! So please bear with me!

It’s one thing to be inspired by your writer friends and another to feel threatened by them.

If your writer friends or critique group have ever left you feeling more discouraged than excited, you’re not alone (I could write a whole article dedicated just to that… and I might!). 

Even with the best intentions, it’s all too easy for us writers to fall into comparison-mode. Your friend’s word count, book deal, or querying success can feel like a reminder that you’re not a Real Writer yet.

And when you’re already doubting yourself, it can feel even more resentful.

Early in our coaching relationship, one of my clients told me: 

“I write a few times a week, usually self-pressured because I’m not doing it like the authors who have careers like I want.”

That pressure to do it like someone else subconsciously drained her motivation. And the more she compared herself to her writing friends, the further “behind” she felt in her own author career.

Together, we used journaling to help her reconnect with her writerly passion, bringing her back to when she first decided to become a writer. Then, we came up with a plan to keep her “in her own lane” so she could see that proverbial finish line in the distance and keep running toward it. 

From the start, I already saw her as a writer. After 30 days together, she saw it, too. She said,

“Now I know I’m a writer. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

What Happens When You Actually Say YES! to Your Dream

So now that you’ve seen why even the best writing friends can’t always give you the kind of support you need, let’s zoom out a bit and talk about why coaching might feel unfamiliar, and why you’re not weird or wrong for feeling unsure about it.

It totally makes sense to have faith in your writing crew (or your wildly independent creative self) especially if you’ve never heard of book coaching or aren’t quite sure what it actually looks like. Most writers don’t grow up knowing that one-on-one creative support outside of a classroom is even a thing. So when you think “support,” your brain probably goes straight to what’s familiar: your writing group, your critique partner, your favorite plot-whispering friend… or your number one fan (hi, Mom 👋).

And don’t get me wrong! Those people are amazing! But let’s talk about the myth that sneaks in here: the idea that writing is supposed to be a lone-wolf kind of thang. That if you were really serious about this, you’d be able to buckle down, churn out words, and reach The End with nothing but caffeine, grit, and a playlist full of atmospheric writing music.

So when it’s not going the way you thought it “should,” and you’re stuck, or second-guessing everything, or writing once every other full moon, it becomes real easy to assume the problem is you.

NOPE! Not even close, my friend.

A lot of writers are juggling full, unpredictable, beautifully messy lives: Jobs. Kids. Chronic illness. Mental health stuff (🙋🏼‍♀️). Exhaustion. School pick-ups. Existential dread…

When life is a lot (because it usually is), even the most supportive writing friends can only do so much. They’re dealing with their own stuff too, amiright?

Here’s the thing: in just about every other area of life, we accept that support matters. Help is ingrained into athletics, dancing, music, speaking, business… even giving birth.

In this amazing TED Talk, surgeon Atul Gawande (one of the best in his field) shares how hiring a coach helped him to keep growing. Because even when you know your stuff, having someone in your corner makes you even better.

So why not writers?

Admitting you might need something more (more structure, more encouragement, more you-centered support) can feel a little scary. Or maybe even a little indulgent.

But writing is a little indulgent already! Isn’t it?

It’s dreamy, gutsy, creative work. Which is exactly why it deserves more than a shrug and a group text that says,

“Did anyone write this week?? lol.”

Because when you do give yourself that next-level support? Everything changes.

So… what actually happens when a writer does say yes to their dream?

Judy came to me because she just could not show up to write. It wasn’t a lack of love for her story. She just could not get her butt in in the chair, nor her hands on the keyboard. Together, we created a writing ritual and a simple, doable plan that fit her life, energy, and was personalized for her.

Four months later? She wrote The End on the first draft of her novel.

But the thing that was even more important to me as her coach was she rediscovered joy in her writing practice. Her creativity came alive again.

That’s what happens when you commit to showing up for your dream. Your creativity shows up for you in return.

And she’s not alone.

Another client, who’s now thriving, once told me:

“I was unhappy with my writing, ready to stop altogether. I didn’t have any sort of routine or structure to my writing day.”

Now? She’s showing up consistently, finishing books, and told me:

“I’m so happy to write again. I’m able to work through mind blocks, bad days, and migraines and still show up. I don’t feel pressured to be the same as everyone else.”

Finally, Mrs. M came to me stuck on her first chapter. Now, she’s writing prolifically and consistently. She’s in a groove that works for her and keeps her excited to come back to the page again and again, so much so, even her daughter has noticed the joyous shift!

The key wasn’t “more hustle.” It’s structure, encouragement, and support that actually fits. No shame, no pressure, no monster-drill-sergeant-mode. Just a plan that works and someone in your corner when life happens.

This is what’s possible when you’re supported in a way that meets you where you are.

How Brains & Glory Supports You (Not Just Your Word Count)

So what does support that’s customized to you, and where you actually are, look like? 

✅ Personalized Vision & Goal-Setting
From day one, we customize a plan based on what success looks like for you. Whether that’s finishing your first draft, falling back in love with your story, or just writing consistently again, we set realistic goals that work for your lifestyle.

You’ll never wonder “What am I even doing?” We’ll always be clear on where you’re going and how you’re getting there, making adjustments that fit you and your life along the way.

✅ Personalized Private Portal Support
Your personalized Private Portal (PPP) is there for you 24/7. Celebrate wins. Ask questions. Let me know when life throws a nasty-gram, so we can adjust your plan together. I’ll be checking in, cheering you on, and offering feedback that’s tailored to your real life and energy, not some cookie-cutter strategy on repeat.

(My clients love that the portal adds an extra element of support that’s all theirs.)

✅ My Whole-Hearted Commitment to Your Dream
Your writerly ambitions, goals, and dreams matter. Your story matters. And in this mentorship, you’ll have a coach who’s walking beside you, not leading you with a bullhorn. Everything we do is you-centric.

You’ll stay connected to your creative spark, even when the writing gets hard. Because spoiler alert: writing a book does get hard. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

And sometimes, the spark you need comes from someone else being totally lit up about your story, too. Mrs. M, put it this way:

“You are excited for us. You’ve said you can’t wait to read it, see how it all turns out. It’s exciting for us too. But hearing that it’s exciting for you? That makes me even more excited to get it done.” 

(So. Much. Excitement!)

Your story doesn’t just matter to you.

It matters to me, too.

Why This Kind of Support Feels Different

Sometimes it’s hard to explain exactly why coaching works, until you experience it. There’s just a certain je ne sais quoi about it.

Just today, I was in a session with the client you’ve met a few times in this post. She casually mentioned she’d joined a free accountability group for a popular rough draft challenge. She went on and on about the group and the accountability she was getting from it, so I point-blank asked her:

“You have all of this support with this new group and your writing friends… so… why do you still need me?” (it was a genuinely curious question. My goal with this program is to get my clients to a point where the don’t need me).

I thought for sure she’d need some time to think about an answer, but she immediately said:

“Those other groups… everyone shows up for themselves. But with you? I know you’re here for me. My life. My story. My process.”

Then she laughed and added, “Very self-centered there!”

We giggled over that, but really? She’s absolutely right.

That’s the difference between group support and having someone who knows you and your personal goals, patterns, energy, and life. Not just your word count.

It’s not selfish to want that.

It’s not indulgent. 

It’s not too much.

It’s what makes writing sustainable, joyful, and fulfilling again.

Say Yes to Your Dream ✨

If you’ve been nodding along and thinking, “Okay… this is what I’ve been missing,” consider this your heartfelt invitation to choose a new path!

You don’t have to keep muscling through on your own.

You don’t have to keep wondering if you’re doing it “right.” 

And you certainly don’t have to keep hoping the group chat will be enough to carry you across that finish line.

You can say yes to your dream in a way that’s built for you.

Support that sees your story, your struggles, and your brilliance exactly as you are right now, and fosters growth at a sustainable pace so you can be the writer you’ve always dreamed of being.

The Brains & Glory Accountability & Mindset Mentorship is a 3-month coaching experience for novelists who are so over spinning their wheels and so ready to create the writing life of their dreams.

Let’s build a writing process that actually fits your life (not the other way around).

Let’s get you re-obsessed with your story and your passion.

Let’s make writing something you are truly excited to show up for day after day.

And let’s do it together!

Ready to start living your dream in a joyous and fulfilling way?
👉 Apply now for Brains & Glory Accountability & Mindset Mentorship.

Your dream’s not going anywhere.
But wouldn’t it be nice to stop chasing it and start living it?
Your deserve that. And your stories do too.

Not Ready to Apply? Try This Simple Step Toward Writing Confidence 💛

If you’re feeling a little unsure, creatively stuck, or just need a gentle nudge in the right direction… here’s a no-stakes way to reconnect with your writer self, right now, right where you are.

One of the first things I did to help the client I mentioned throughout this post fall back in love with writing was to take her back to the beginning.

Not deadlines. Not word count trackers. Just… why she writes.

If you want to do the same, grab a notebook take a few minutes with these journal prompts:

🖊️ What inspired you to start writing?
What was the original spark? That moment that made you say, “Yes, I want this.”

🖊️ What brings you joy when you write?
Not what gets results, but what gets you excited when you’re at your keyboard?

🖊️ What affirmations can you tell yourself before you start your writing session?
Try: I’m creative. My words are worth showing up for. I’m exactly where I should be right now.

(Say it like you mean it, friend. Because it’s true!)

Then, take some time to reflect. What could you do differently today to train yourself to show up? My recommendation? Go write!

✨These tiny shifts are the kind of mindset magic that we do inside Brains & Glory! I hope to see your application soon!